Doodling with God

I grew up thinking and hearing about how angry God was and thinking "I better be good". This was reinforced by growing up under a mother who was always angry and unhappy. She was especially angry with me and I honestly never felt like she loved me. I never really knew why I was always at the brunt of her anger. I had this inner knowing something wasn't right. I was a planned pregnancy, but the only positive aspect of my mother's words about me was, "When I was born, I was a beautiful baby". Then it all went downhill from there with negative comments about me crying and having colic, etc. Even now, I think how could anyone be so bitter toward and innocent child.

My dad was loving and my fondest childhood memories were with him and my maternal grandmother. Unfortunately my parents divorced when I was 12 and my dad moved to Florida, which was three states away from Kentucky. At this tender age, I was left feeling abandoned by my dad and left with an angry, unhappy mother to raise me. I am sharing this to help you understand how we can view God in light of our parents and how they care for us.

It wasn't until my daughter was born and I wanted to be a "good godly mother, that I really started to grow as a Christian. I accepted Christ at the age of 13, but that was all. I wasn't taught anything about being a Christian from the church or my parents. The closest thing I had to a Christian Mentor was my grandmother. I think one of the biggest impacts she made on my life was watching her read her Bible daily. The experts say, "Children learn more from what you do then what you say". I believe they learn by what you say, too. But they definitely learn by watching you.

This year I decided I wanted to read the Bible through in a year. I had never sat down and decided to read it cover to cover. I have read the New Testament, but not the Old through the new.

I am currently in Exodus and love how Moses meets with God on a regular basis. He talks to God and God talks to him.

It wasn't until I was attending a women's Bible Study while I was on maternity leave, I first started to learn about who God was and that He speaks to us. I took a class called, "Experiencing God", by Henry Blackaby. I was amazed that when I prayed, I could expect God to speak to me. I was raised to pray and feel at the mercy of a distant God. If I was good, I would be blessed and if I wasn't I could expect punishment. Now looking back, I realize I could never figure out how to be good enough. What is the measuring stick for this? That part was never explained to me.

In the Bible Study, I learned God can speak in many ways, It may not always be an audible voice. He can speak through His word of course and this is the most common way, but he can also speak through people, nature, music and circumstances. I grew up with a cessationsit view and didn't even realize it.

There where times I would see things in nature or hear something in someone's voice that felt like it was being highlighted to me. This happed through music and also when I would hear a sermon. Have you ever felt like the pastor was talking directly to you?

My Christian growth has been gradual and God has been working on me and in me progressively. There hasn't been a burning bush experience for me, but he treats each of us as an individual and relates to us in ways which are unique to us. If you think about your friends or children, each is different and you probably communicate and relate to them a bit differently.

Sometimes we are experiencing God encouraging us through something only we would understand and we right it off as coincidence. To say, "God spoke to me or showed me this or that", lends to folks thinking you are off or nuts. But it is ok to do one-way prayer. We pray, but God is silent. Think how life would be if we talked to people we loved, but they never spoke back to us. It is pretty much common sense to realize God who is full of love wants a relationship with us.

One of the unique ways he has spoken to me is through rainbows of reflected light. When I was going through a very difficult divorce over 20 years ago, I kept seeing rainbows. It was so prevalent I could not deny it. My daughter who was 7 at the time, saw them, too.

Recently, I was working on an art project in my sunroom and I saw the rainbows again. I don't question it now. I know God is encouraging me. His promises are solid. He promises he has a good plan for our life and all things will work for our good. It doesn't mean we will not go through difficult times, the Bible tells us we will suffer and go through trials, but God will bring us through. I can attest to this. There have been times I was barely hanging on in a trial, but he has sent someone to help encourage me or carry me through. He works through others in our times of need and He never leaves us or forsakes us. That is a solid promise on His part.

I have come a long way from that little girl who thought God was angry and distant. I have learned no matter where you are in life and no matter your circumstances, God is able to carry you through. God made the world, he doesn't need counseling and He doesn't need your help unless He asks. So many times I thought I had to help him in situations. it is pretty humorous to think God couldn't do something without me. What he wants is us to be at peace and allow Him to carry our burdens. Honestly, I have to remind myself every day, "I can rest in Him and allow Him to work out the situations in my life which I cannot do anything about."

At this time in my life, I am recovering from a serious illness and He has prompted me to do art and promote artists. He has shown me new life through creativity. I have never considered myself an artist and my mom reinforced that by telling me I wasn't. However, the truth is, every child is an artist and every adult is creative.

Our Son is VERY left brain leaning, meaning he is analytical and a problem solver. He reasons and is very much about gadgets and systems. However, in High School, he had to take art as an elective. When I saw what he had done I was flabbergasted! It was really good, who knew he had it in him.

It has taken me a long time to put my hands to creativity. But I am here now. My husband has gone back to work and with covid, I spend my days learning art. I have four furry friends with me and of course God is always with me. Yesterday, my husband came home and I told him I had "doodled" all day. Not something you expect to hear from a grown woman!

What I am finding is my opinion of myself about not being able to draw is a myth. With any skill, you have to practice and learn techniques. Doodling is freeing me up to draw better. Basic doodling helps get the creative juices flowing and by drawing basic shapes, you can move on to more intricate patterns. Who knew doodling could be so powerful! I love the coloring part because it is exhilarating to see the beautiful colors and patterns coming across the page.

Three pieces I created during doodle time.

I have been taking my doodling class through Creativebug with a teacher named Pam Garrison. She has four levels she teaches. I did all of them in one day. I absolutely doodled all day! Skillshare offers doodling classes as well. I haven't given them a try yet. Supposedly doodling helps with memory, too.

I want to glorify God and I believe this will happen through my art. I have a friend at church who is

an art teacher and people have shown up from all over the world to his office because of his art. People have been saved because of his art! Can you imagine that? The first time I heard him speak in church, I sobbed. The power of God in him was so strong it brought me to tears. He is a Messianic Jew and has a calling to Israel. He is such a beautiful reflection of God's love. Meeting Chris and seeing how God flows through him has shown me the power God emits through art! It is so original and such a reflection of the Great Creator Himself!

God has told me to show His people how much He loves them. I learned to journal with God several years back and when I journal, I allow Him space to respond. If you have not tried this, it is wonderful. At first I was afraid of what He would say to me. I thought He would point out all my flaws, etc. But on the contrary, He was so loving and uplifting. If you would like to walk closer with God I would highly recommend Communion with God Ministries with Mark Virkler. He has wonderful courses and studies to connect with God. If you are in need of healing, he has that, too.

We are going to spend eternity with God, I would rather get to know Him now than wait until I go to heaven. He has so much in store for us here if we are willing to follow Him and learn the still small voice with which He speaks.

I have ordered a journal to doodle in and record what God has been saying or doing in my life. I will be writing future articles about this. So many keep a gratitude journal based on secular events, but what if we looked for what God was doing instead? I would encourage you to give it a try.

I will leave you with this scripture, "The joy of the Lord is my Strength", Nehemiah 8:10. If you would like to embark on connecting with God through doodling and journaling, I have a book I would like to recommend. It is called Journal with Purpose by Helen Colebrook. The art work is so cute and lovely. It is filled with over 1000 motifs, alphabets and icons to personalize journaling and teach you step by step. She is very talented.

See Below a two-page spread from the book. I just love flourishes!

There are lots of pictures and categories to choose from. Trying to learn anything new takes baby steps. I am excited to see what God does through my journal and art work this year! As I journal I will be doodling with God and seeing what he would speak to me. With God, it is an adventure!